= The Lemurs =

Once upon an evening boring, naught to do and nearly snoring,<<BR>>
Pond’ring whether I should make rice krispie treats, or s’mores,<<BR>>
Suddenly there came a zoofling, and the sound of small paws stealthily loosening<<BR>>
The hinges of my zinc-clad door.<<BR>>
“‘Tis some Lemur”, I grimbled, “covetting my zinc-clad door.<<BR>>
He shall not have it!” Thus I swore.<<BR>>

Oy Cretumbro! I remember, it was in the half-Octember,<<BR>>
When larcenous bands of Lemurs swarmed our land from hills to shore.<<BR>>
All not-nailed-down were they a’stealing? Silver, gold and gems appealing?<<BR>>
Nay! Zinc’s what Lemurs covet, zinc’s the thing that they adore!<<BR>>
That grey, cretumbrous metal that the Lemurs all long for –<<BR>>
Only zinc, and nothing more!<<BR>>

Anxious then I crossed my chamber, eager to confront the danger,<<BR>>
Lest gossips claim that Horselike, I did dwell without a door.<<BR>>
Throwing wide my zincy portal, I gave voice to a cry bzortal,<<BR>>
A challenge to the villain who was crouched there on the floor,<<BR>>
Unscrewing ev’ry hinge that did secure my zinc-clad door.<<BR>>
I took a breath. ’twas time to roar!<<BR>>

“Scoundrel!” cried I, “Rotten Lemur! You plot to steal my zincen portal!<<BR>>
Unhand you now my hinges! Get you forthwith from my door!”<<BR>>
“Gasp!” he gasped, his plan uncovered, turned around, then off kerschlundled,<<BR>>
Pausing but to snatch the gold hoofscraper from beside my door.<<BR>>
The solid-gold hoofscraper that had graced my zincen door.<<BR>>
The Lemur had it. How I swore!<<BR>>

I gave voice to threats most dire, and gave chase too, lest it transpire,<<BR>>
By a Lemur I’d be bested at the step of my front door.<<BR>>
Close behind I chased the villain, promising a painful killin’,<<BR>>
He’d pay dear for that ornament that late had graced my door!<<BR>>
The solid gold hoofscraper that belonged at my front door,<<BR>>
He dropped and ran… T’was mine once more!<<BR>>

“Whew!”, I whewed, with deep emotion, knowing it had been a close one,<<BR>>
But my solid gold hoofscraper reposed in my hand once more.<<BR>>
Returning to my domicile, ’twas then I ‘scried that crime most vile!<<BR>>
’twas then I saw my entryway was not now as before.<<BR>>
Empty gaped the doorframe where had stood my zinc-clad door.<<BR>>
I had been duped. You bet I swore!<<BR>>

Turning then, I saw the Lemurs, kerschlundling on their Lemurs’ femurs,<<BR>>
Trundling to the forest with the burden that they bore.<<BR>>
Too far away to think of chasing, my sole chance of their crime erasing:<<BR>>
Appealing to their honesty (though it never worked before…)<<BR>>
“Bring that back!” I shouted”, “That’s MY zinc-clad door!”<<BR>>
Quoth the Lemurs, “Not no more!”<<BR>>