Mayoral Kidnapping - Mech Kart

rpread 32
 
32. From: Krasudreal
On: 2026-04-22 18:33:13
This post will expire on: 2026-06-21 18:33:13 -- 56 days and 22 hours from now.
Subject: 2026-04-25 Saturday 1800 server time - Planning for Strategic Relocation of Mayoral Office Resources
 
City Hall Office hours on 2026-04-20 Monday was insufficient to handle all mayoral proposals... Krasudreal invites the Mayor, the Vice and the public to... "Discuss"... Further matters.
Meeting location will be at the destructible city, whose coordinates are S3 E8. Members of the public should bring their own snacks and drinks.
Be advised that members of the public will be seated at the dirigible floating above the destructible city.
.. Nothing weird is going on, don't worry about it. See you there!
 
Done.

Krasudreal shouts "Please come to S3 E8 (the destructible city) for the Planning for Strategic Relocation of Mayoral Office Resources that is scheduled to happen in about 30 minutes. This surely is not a front for anything else."  (Public-shout)
[OOC] Vahno says, "When we were fighting Ashrikess."
You rumble, "Oh here we go~"
luge s3 e8
You sit on a street luge (it resembles a long skateboard) and zip directly there!
Destructible City - S3 E8(#261RLJ)
This appears at first glance to be a bustling modern city on the edge of the Glimmersea -- but under the slightest scrutiny, there's clearly some manner of fakery.
The first sign is that the city is surprisingly small. Oh, *within* a particular region, it might look more-or-less realistic, and the illusion is helped by the fact that it isn't really on a grid, so you can't see very far. But as a whole, each individual district is practically toy-sized, only a few blocks wide.
Self-driving cars are driving this way and that, and holograms of civilians of every species are wandering around aimlessly; this presents the illusion of bustling, just enough that it doesn't seem empty and uninhabited, but it's clearly not real.
There are warning signs on the outskirts which say "WARNING: Battle area. Not for habitation! Do not enter if a battle is in progress!"; if you do enter anyway, Patashu Industries-manufactured robots will keep people out if they try to set up shops or homes in here. Kobolds and automated repair machinery are also at the ready, six hours after the battle is done, to start fixing everything and putting it back together! (Don't worry, they'll safely flee if you start doing damage again while they're in the middle of repairs.)
CITY HP: 10000/10000. Will you [break] the city?
A purple and gold blimp flies above the city whenever there's action going on, from which people can safely watch, as well as camera-drones.
        The daylight is upon us, dim still, and grey clouds block out the sky.  Even if there were a sun, it would be invisible.  It's 6:00 AM.

Obvious Exits:
        [E]ast, [N]orth, [S]outh, [S]pectator's [B]limp, [U]p, and [W]est
Contents: Krasudreal, Construction-Proxy, and N-Stage
## There are possible hidden listeners here.
Tss'Renia zooms in and screeches to a halt!  Street luging.
Tss'Renia has arrived.
Teo zooms in and screeches to a halt!  Street luging.
Teo has arrived.
Niny'ah zooms in and screeches to a halt!  Street luging.
Niny'ah has arrived.
Tss'Renia .wavs, "I am the opposite of procrastination."
Mraustrae zooms in and screeches to a halt!  Street luging.
Mraustrae has arrived.
Vahno zooms in and screeches to a halt!  Street luging.
Vahno has arrived.
Mako zooms in and screeches to a halt!  Street luging.
Mako has arrived.
Mako will get her player showered before showtime fast.
[OOC] Krasudreal says, "oh wait I need to shower!"
[OOC] Construction-Proxy's brain is just going 'no' for some reason 8D
[OOC] Tss'Renia looks at memory use... 4.2gb. :eyes:
[OOC] Tss'Renia looks at unused ram. 60gb. :eyes:
Nina arrives on a street luge made of shadowy glitches shadow as if it was a skateboard.
Nina has arrived.
Nina meerm z.z
[OOC] Krasudreal says, "Oki, back"
[OOC] Patashu wib
[OOC] Niny'ah says, "I'm getting pulled to dinner in 5"
Krasudreal shouts "Please come to S3 E8 (the destructible city) for the Planning for Strategic Relocation of Mayoral Office Resources that is scheduled to happen in about 15 minutes. This surely is not a front for anything else."  (Public-shout)
Patashu vibrate :3
[OOC] Krasudreal says, "probably the last shout I'll do?"
Amy zooms in and screeches to a halt!  Street luging.
Amy has arrived.
Tss'Renia hugs Patashu, mmmmmm. Comforting.
Patashu stage whispers to Reni, "Do we know what we're in for?" Hugging back.
[Teo just looked in your direction! (Female Raiju)]
Teo picks a spot on Patashu to recline against.
Patashu nosebumps Teo, wag.
Tss'Renia stage whispers back, "I think this is the part where we get kidnapped.
Patashu goes 'oooh'.
Jill-Annie zips out of a portal of greenish evil energy!  Street luging.
Jill-Annie has arrived.
Kandra zooms in and screeches to a halt!  Street luging.
Kandra has arrived.
Kandra peek o.o;
Nina mew Kandra
Featherwing zooms in and screeches to a halt!  Street luging.
Featherwing has arrived.
Nina mew Featherwing
Featherwing rar Nina. ^w^
Krasudreal prrbs, "Alright, everyone ready...?"
Tss'Renia .wavs, "Ready."
Krasudreal prrbs, "Or do I need to delay things for people to be ready?"
Nina says, "I mean, it's you, Renia, and Pata's show!"
You rumble, "I'm ready when you are."
Jill-Annie smiles thinly.
Vahno says, "I need to use the restroom real quick, but don't wait on me."
Tss'Renia .wavs, "I have no idea if I am actually being kidnapped, but, that is my feel."
Nina gigglesnickers.
Jill-Annie hides a chuckle behind her mouth.
Tss'Renia .wavs, "My B: drive is funnel seeking."
Mraustrae prrbs, "Members of the public, please move to the spectator's blimp. The Mayor and the Vice shall remain behind..."
Aurora has arrived.
Nina gestures to the 'sb' exit!
Aurora boards the spectator's blimp.
Aurora has left.
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Aurora has arrived.
Mraustrae boards the spectator's blimp.
Mraustrae has left.
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Mraustrae arrives from outside.
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Mraustrae has arrived.
[OOC] Tss'Renia says, "Is this going to make puppet spam? Yeah? Ah damn."
Nina boards the spectator's blimp.
Nina has left.
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Nina arrives from outside.
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Nina has arrived.
Mako ooof back
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Aurora teleports away.
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Aurora has left.
Teo boards the spectator's blimp.
Teo has left.
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Teo arrives from outside.
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Teo has arrived.
Ravio has teleported in.
Ravio has arrived.
[OOC] Tss'Renia says, "She is with us in spirit."
[OOC] Krasudreal says, "She is with us in spirit"
Patashu gestures Ravio to the spectator's blimp!
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Nina mew!
Krasudreal prrbs, "Ah, please join the public in the Spectator's Blimp"
Ravio oh!
Ravio boards the spectator's blimp.
Ravio has left.
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Ravio arrives from outside.
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Ravio has arrived.
Amy boards the spectator's blimp.
Amy has left.
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Amy arrives from outside.
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Amy has arrived.
Jill-Annie boards the spectator's blimp.
Jill-Annie has left.
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Jill-Annie arrives from outside.
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Jill-Annie has arrived.
Featherwing boards the spectator's blimp.
Featherwing has left.
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Featherwing arrives from outside.
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Featherwing has arrived.
Kandra boards the spectator's blimp.
Kandra has left.
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Kandra arrives from outside.
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Kandra has arrived.
Krasudreal prrbs, "Well, that's good enough"
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Mraustrae offers tea and biscuits to those who didn't bring their own snacks and drinks.
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Nina munch. :3
Krasudreal prrbs, "So, about that planning..."
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Jill-Annie stands close to a window, looking ... tempted.
Patashu mhmh?
Krasudreal prrbs, "Consider yourselves kidnapped! This was all a ploy! Your mayoral resources will be relocated! And put to use! Witness!"
Patashu gasps! Oh nooo!
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Nina gigglesnickers.
Tss'Renia .wavs, "Oh nooooo."
Tss'Renia .wavs, "If only I could have planned this ahead of time and made a will."
Krasudreal snaps their fingers and a large number of drones (of quite large size) flies over. They collectively carry into the city five massive karts, each of them at least five times as large in all dimensions than a normal kart, far larger than a normal car! They are large enough that three road lanes are like a single lane for them. Alongside that, a massive package gets droped, draped in cloth... The cloth slides off, revealing a massive wooden mech with the likeness of Krasudreal themselves!
Patashu oh *ho*? What do we have here... :3c 
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Jill-Annie raises her eyebrows.
Krasudreal prrbs, "Last time I put the Mayor and the Vice to play mech dodgeball and lost... This time will be different!"
Krasudreal prrbs, "Welcome... To mech Kart!"
You rumble, "Your budget's been going up! I approve, of course!"
Krasudreal prrbs, "You may have noticed that there's... Five Karts. Not three."
Krasudreal prrbs, "Oh, my accomplices! Come forth! The time has come!"
You rumble, "OohOhh, this is how you're going to win this time... The power of friendship! Curses!"
Krasudreal prrbs, "Yes, of course..."
( Another mech bursts out of a nearby building's garage, this one painted rather simply with splashes of green and white. "Of course! This time you're not gonna win!" )
break 5
Patashu did 5 damage to Destructible City, reducing its integrity to 9995!
Patashu stage whispers to Reni, "So how much experience do you have kart racing."
Krasudreal gives a thumbs up to the mech! "That's right! And with our last accomplice, you will be outnumbered this time!"
Tss'Renia grabs a spraycan out from hammerspace and draws something blurry where the damage is. "This is a Christian server, they will have to fix that up prompto."
Mako clunkclunkclunkclunkwhirrrrrrrrrrrrr....... A suit of samurai looking armor in a lotus position whirrs around the corner, bonks into a streetlight, and comes whizzing forward. @.@
Patashu gasps! "Mako! How could youuu?"
Krasudreal prrbs, "Mako is actually a veteran, to be fair, has been my accomplice for as long as I have been doing this."
Mako, sitting inside the chest of the armor. "Easy! I did this last year too!"
You rumble, "Yeah I guess this narrative throughline doesn't work very well."
You rumble, "Mako! How could youuu again?"
Mako says, "Easy! It's funny! And fun!"
Tss'Renia .wavs, "I am a bit of a lead foot."
Patashu grins toothily!
Vahno says, "Construction materials will not help you here."
Mako says, "Look at it this way, we didn't have to get the sack to relocate your assets! :P"
You rumble, "Yeah I noticed the process is streamlined now. I approve. :3"
You rumble, "So! Do we need to get in mechs that THEMSELVES drive the karts? Am I getting that right?"
Tss'Renia .wavs, "We are frigging robots, that will drive mechs, that will drive karts?"
Tss'Renia .wavs, "Docker really went too far."
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Jill-Annie laughs out loud.
Krasudreal prrbs, "Alright, here's how this is going to work. We will race in these mech karts on the areas that were the largest looping six-lane roads. Everywhere else is either too small to fit in, or has been blocked off. Whichever team gets destroyed first loses. But! If anyone on a team laps three times first, the karts of the OTHER team will EXPLODE."
Patashu cheers!
Krasudreal prrbs, "Also, you do need to provide your own mechs. Otherwise it won't be as fun."
You rumble, "Great! Reni, do you have one prepared or am I spotting you?"
Mako says, "I mean, technically I think reni and pata may count as thier own vehicles, but I'm not picky. :P"
Tss'Renia .wavs, "Despite being full of circuits, I like SPACE machinery, not ground heavy machinery as much. I would need a mech, yes please, and the API and model file to use it."
Krasudreal prrbs, "Finally, there's some extras, else this wouldn't be as fun, right?"
Krasudreal gestures and a few drones appear, carrying quite large crates each, which opens to show items within, "Behold! These will be within reach through the track. Just reach out and grab them. There's a pletora of items that you can get, for example..." they gesture towards a blue rocket "The blue rocket is a homing rocket locked on the frontmost individual, using it on the front slot will launch the rocket forward, making the rocket follow the race track in the correct direction. Using it in the rear slot the rocket will fly in the reverse direction of the track... But will still home into the frontmost racer!" they then gesture to a red cylinder, with the image of a maxed out speedometer on it "This is a boost charge, using it on the rear slot will propel your kart into incredible speeds, while using it on front slot will cause your kart to hover temporarialy! Keep in mind that the way out of the track will still be blocked." they then gesture to a spherical black object "This is a bomb. Just throw it and it will explode on impact. But, if you use it on your rear slot you will place a mine. Using it on the front slot also places a mine... Right in front of you." they finally gesture to... A gun "And this is a mech-sized light machine gun. Just point and shoot! I am sure it will be fine."
Tss'Renia .wavs, "Thank the elders we live in a post-scarcity society, I would have had a fit at the inefficiency of this otherwise."
Patashu high fives Reni. Exactly :3c 
Mako says, "What's the point of living in a space like this if you can't be Stupid about it? ;p"
[OOC] Niny'ah return!
You rumble, "Now then. I got some great mechs for us!. ... UHhh. Hold on. ... I think I do. ... I thought I did. ... Wow, those maintenance cycles lined up really badly. ... OKAY, what we do have is. We have a bunch of pokemon mech suits for use in the Pokemon Adventure Park. They'll do fine. :x Reni, would you like Delphox or Charizard?"
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Teo giggles. "Kart racing is definitely a great pasttime. I'm a big fan of the whole kayfabe around how Ring Racers did it."
Vahno says, "Yeah! Let's blow stuff up!"
Tss'Renia .wavs, "Charizard, I have high enough level. Plenty of bitching to go about too."
Vahno tries to swipe a bomb from one of the drones to cause pre-race chaos...
You rumble, "Great, guess I'm piloting a Delphox."
( the bomb is swiped as people are turned away and distracted... )
Krasudreal's mech reaches out to Krasudreal, picking them up, before loading them into the mech itself through one of the ears. The mech then takes the frontmost Kart. "The Mayor shall be placed 4th, and the Vice 5th in the starting positions."
Patashu looks off into the distance as two Patashu Industries branded dropships fly in and descend behind us, blowing dust outwards from the thrusters...
Tss'Renia .wavs, "Without my glasses it looked like a space chicken, and I mostly remember the first 151 pokemons."
Vahno says, "Can I go first~?"
Niny'ah boards the spectator's blimp.
Niny'ah has left.
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Niny'ah arrives from outside.
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Niny'ah has arrived.
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Niny'ah distributes popcorn
Krasudreal's mech swaps into the second place, "Sure. I make the rules anyways."
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Nina munches on that, too!
Tss'Renia looks about as normal as always
( Lowered out from the dropships' cargo bays in chains are a pair of pokemon mech suits. One Delphox, one Charizard. In typical PI fashion, despite being intended for just adventure park usage, they're durable and ruggedized under the cute and colourful exteriors. The logos, identifying serial numbers and usage pictograms are stenciled on the hips and flanks. )
Vahno grins and hops his mech into his cart, driving it into the first place spot.
Krasudreal prrbs, "That places Mako on third, for those keeping track."
Tss'Renia climbs into the charizard mech suit, interfaces with API, applies model, and executes Protocol::ExtendInto. The Charizard looks around, moves around, jumps around. "Right on. Does it breathe fire? I could RTFM, but asking is more fun."
Patashu pops open the Delphox's belly hatch and climbs into the stiff looking, dashboard surrounded cockpit, pulling a lever to shut it with a PSSHT. "Of course it does! Standard feature. Mine does too." Working the controls, he steps into his kart's seat.
Mako's armor slides on up. 
Tss'Renia climbs into its kart, turns off pacifist mode.
Patashu . o O ( Kart on kart violence doesn't violate pacifist conduct! >:3 )
You rumble, "Count us down, Krasu?"
Krasudreal's mech snaps its fingers and a drones flies down, with a massive screen displaying a countdown! 10... 9... 8.. 7... 6... 5...
Patashu works the levers to lean the Delphox forward in its seat, steering wheel grasped, pedals hovered!
( time seems to slow down as tensions rise... )
Tss'Renia .wavs, "Do you have a giant spatula, Pata?"
You rumble, "Not on hand but I could 3D metal-print one..."
( 4... 3... 2... )
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Niny'ah . o O ( did the karts get described? )
Tss'Renia . o O ( tl;dr: big )
Patashu . o O ( beyond 'five times larger than normal', not that I sawa )
Vahno drives off! "Kras said I could go first!" He'll also dump that bomb down behind his kart as he drives off!
( the karts look a lot like oversized karts, with funny slots in front and back )
You rumble, "Hey wait-"
( 1... Go! )
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Niny'ah cackles!
Patashu gawks, and floors the gas pedal! *REV BLAST*
[OOC] Patashu says, "(Nitrous Oxide from Crash Team Racing moment)"
Krasudreal's Kart rushes off! Making sure to not hit the mine!
Tss'Renia leadfoots, avoids the mine, curses in ancient draconic. "Ta mere."
Patashu saw the mine so he shouldn't have trouble dodging it... (DC 5)
roll 1d20
Rolling 1d20:
-----------------------------------
* 1d20 =>  11
-----------------------------------
> Total = 11
Krasudreal prrbs, "Sorry! The referee did not call that an early start! We gotta keep going!"
>> Tss'Renia rolls 1d20, and gets 10
Patashu turns the wheel to curve around it, snorting a bit in the cockpit!
You rumble, "Oh you are SO being lit on fire if I catch up, Vahno!!"
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, [OOC] Niny'ah says, "just checking, is the blimp two-way passthru"
[OOC] Patashu says, "I hear you"
[OOC] Krasudreal says, "yeah we hear you!"
[OOC] Patashu says, "it should work like cushion pile in pq"
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, [OOC] Niny'ah says, "kgood, just wasn't sure"
Vahno turns back and PBBBBTS at Pata!
Tss'Renia immawario_immagonnawin.wav
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Nina gigglesnickers.
Mako puts her metaphorical foot down, and the Samurai takes off forward, in a kind of low-hover, in a lotus position. @.@ VRrRrrrmmm.....
Tss'Renia looks out for one of those item things.
Patashu has REVENGE on his mind. He's going to take the first turn and look for the first lot of iron crates...
Patashu . o O ( reading the instructions again and giggling that you can just mine yourself. SURELY that's totally useless... )
Patashu *item crates, ahem
( The kart group, after a few curves, reaches a line of drones flying low, each of them carrying a large box! The villains are reaching them first, however, Vahno first of all. (Also, feel free to make up power ups! You don't need to limit yourselves to the examples!) )
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Niny'ah . o O ( Do a flip! )
Patashu aha! He'll roll for a random vanilla item this time...
roll 1d4
Rolling 1d4:
-----------------------------------
* 1d4 =>  4
-----------------------------------
> Total = 4
Patashu equips Gun. >:3
Vahno reeeaaaches for his crate and grabs... A rocket launcher! "Hee hee hee! This is gonna be fun~!"
Krasudreal reaches for one of the crates! Uh, what's that... Did a drone just fly right into the mech's hand? Never mind that... The crate is opened to reveal... An oil drum?! The mech slots it into the rear slot, causing a slippery oil spill to materialize behind their kart!
Mako raises her hand and grabs a box. Chain hook! Mwahahahahaha!
Patashu waits until he's on a straightaway, Mako and Krasu aren't in the way... And opens fire on Vahno's kart! RATTATTATTATT! Which means he's not thinking about Krasu's oil spill, so DC 10...
roll 1d20
Rolling 1d20:
-----------------------------------
* 1d20 =>  13
-----------------------------------
> Total = 13
Patashu wobbles a little bit while driving over it, but the Delphox's kart holds!
Tss'Renia picks up a howitzer and activates it forward, aiming at Vahno. The kart PLANTS down into the ground, turns towards Vahno, and FIRES.
>> Tss'Renia rolls 1d20, and gets 2
Krasudreal takes some fire! Out of all the mechs today, theirs is the most fragile!
Tss'Renia mindlessly destroys part of the city with no harm to anyone, deactivates tank siege mode and starts up again slowly, "Damn, what a waste of time."
[OOC] Krasudreal says, "Wait, did this roll publicly? Did everyone see the 17?"
[OOC] Patashu says, "use roll, not /roll or qroll"
[OOC] Vahno says, "No."
>> Krasudreal rolls 1d20, and gets 7
break 100
Patashu did 100 damage to Destructible City, reducing its integrity to 9895!
>> Tss'Renia rolls 1d100, and gets 43
Patashu says to Reni, "If you fall too far behind, focus on harassing everyone in front while I try to take a lead!" Implicitly, he promises to do the same if the turn tables.
Vahno yelps and ducks down ineffectively at the gunfire! He'll aim back with his launcher and fire...
>> Vahno rolls 1d2, and gets 2
Tss'Renia adds 43 damage to the city.
Krasudreal's mech takes a severe beating actually! They go listless for a moment. It almost looked like they were done for, before sitting back straighter and regaining control of the kart!
Vahno fires a Blue rocket! ...wait. "...oh crud."
You rumble, "Oh my GOD Vahno"
You rumble, "Save some for the rest of us~"
Krasudreal prrbs, "Wh- Why did you do that?! I explained that one!"
Tss'Renia veeeEEEEEEEEE<yellow>EEEEEE<orange>EEEEE<red> "Wahooo!"
Vahno says, "I DIDN'T SEE THE COLOR!"
Krasudreal prrbs, "It will make a full loop before it finds you, do something!"
Vahno says, "uhm...! Uhm...!"
You rumble, "It'll make a full loop? ... Uh oh. Reni, watch your back if you hear a fwooshing noise behind you!"
( another line of drone-lifted crates approaches... )
Patashu moves the levers to move the steering wheel to take the next turn into the items...
roll 1d4
Rolling 1d4:
-----------------------------------
* 1d4 =>  2
-----------------------------------
> Total = 2
Vahno slams on the brakes! This immediately gets him out of the line of fire! And right into last place...
Patashu AHA! Boost, but when to use it...
Mako swings her chain voerhead, adn throws it forward to catch whoeer's in front of her! ... wait, who was in front of her?
Patashu wha! "There goes Vahno..." Wait, then Krasu's in first, right?
Vahno . o O ( And if Mako's in third... well, second now... )
Krasudreal prrbs, "W-wait... I'm first now?! Don't throw me under the bus- Mako?!"
Patashu . o O ( Then who's on first! )
Tss'Renia grabs a mushroom trio, wait, they call them boosts over here. waaaaaa.wav.
Mako oh oh...
Patashu hears a missile coming, and jukes to the side to let it past! ... Wait, no, that was Reni. Now he's in fifth place! ... And here comes the actual missile! DC 5 duke...
Mako likely catches hold of Krasu's mech, and gets pulled along behind! At least till they take a corner..... then the chain comes off and he continues forward.. "... oh this is gonna hurt."
roll 1d20
Rolling 1d20:
-----------------------------------
* 1d20 =>  1
-----------------------------------
> Total = 1
Patashu ... ah.
Patashu <<<BOOM>>>
Mako Crunchtinklecaralarm Welp, she's gonna be losing a few places....
Mako did 50 damage to Destructible City, reducing its integrity to 9845!
Krasudreal looks behind themselves in disbelief... "Did you rush in front of it?!"
Tss'Renia hovers + dodges that blue shell.
You rumble, "It tricked me! You're all changing first place so often it swapped paths! @///@"
[OOC] Krasudreal says, "Honestly, if you hadn't rolled a 1, I'd say you wouldn't have been hit, but holy carp"
Patashu coughs out smoke from inside of the cockpit. The Delphox looks lightly scorched.
[OOC] Patashu says, "yeah I was going to use the hover as a hail mary, but"
[OOC] Patashu says, "lmao"
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Featherwing has disconnected.
Krasudreal reaches for a crate in the confusion...
Vahno PBBBBTTTS as he drives past Patashu.
>> Krasudreal rolls 1d5, and gets 5
Patashu grumbles, and floors the accelerator! Now he needs to blow the boost to just keep up, and the kart's looking trashed and shaky...
Mako clambers out of the wreckage, and retakes the street, probably now near last place. @.o She rounds a corner and grabs for a powerup as she goes...
Vahno reaches for another crate himself... Come here you dang...!
Krasudreal they get a mysterious item... Wait... Is that... That's a Krasudreal-Brand banana crates, with extra slippery peels! They immediately throw it behind themselves! Which... Doesn't even break apart. It is just a wooden crate in the track!
>> Vahno rolls 1d4, and gets 2
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Kandra has disconnected.
Patashu let's see, next item time...
roll 1d4
Rolling 1d4:
-----------------------------------
* 1d4 =>  4
-----------------------------------
> Total = 4
Vahno grabs a boost!
Patashu gets another gun! That'll do, alright.
Krasudreal glances behind themselves... Before taking a double-take on Patashu... "Again?!"
Tss'Renia grabs Krasudreal's crate, tosses it at Mako!
Patashu grins, aims at Krasu. "And this time you're in my sights." Rattattata! (rolling to hit...)
roll 1d20
Rolling 1d20:
-----------------------------------
* 1d20 =>  10
-----------------------------------
> Total = 10
Patashu performs averagely! And also shatters some windows in the process.
break 20
Patashu did 20 damage to Destructible City, reducing its integrity to 9825!
Mako aiee! She's been bananapeel'd! *CRUNCH* Well, bananacrate'd.
Mako's mech now has a large crate on its head. @.@
Patashu . o O ( Quick, hop up and down to dislodge it! )
Vahno slows down. A bit. He's taking up position behind Pata... taking aim...! He hits the boost, attempting to Ram Pata right off the road!
>> Vahno rolls 1d20, and gets 15
Tss'Renia aims right behind Mako, and then uses the last mushroom, slamming into Mako's bumper.
>> Tss'Renia rolls 1d20, and gets 1
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Featherwing has connected.
Krasudreal's frail Mech, already on the edge of being wrecked, goes listless one more time... This time they don't come back before crashing into a curve and exploding spectacularly!
Tss'Renia spins spins spins, waaaaaaaa.wav
Patashu gawks! "Hey-" SMASH! The kart crashes through a car, shattering the windows and frames, before it front ends a faux bank. @//@
Krasudreal's muffled voice comes from the mech, "I'm okay!"
break 50
Patashu did 50 damage to Destructible City, reducing its integrity to 9775!
[OOC] Patashu says, "oh god we've both rolled 1s XD"
You rumble, "Reni! Avenge me! Avenge... the concept of mayorship!"
Vahno says, "Adios Pata~!"
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Jill-Annie puts a hand on her mouth to stifle a chuckle.
Mako Whunch! She goes flying forward! @.@
Tss'Renia .wavs, "Yeah, not looking good for team public servants."
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Nina says, "Looks like Krasudreal ..." Puts on sunglasses. "... has *crash*udreal'd!""
( the finish line, for the first lap, is in sight! And another line of crates is right before them! )
Mako *Pinball.sfx* Off a lamppost, a bus stop, several walls, crashing through a fake clothing store, coming out the other end in a pink tutu....
Patashu's voice echoes in Reni's head: "Standard feature... Standard feature... standard feature..."
Mako did 65 damage to Destructible City, reducing its integrity to 9710!
[OOC] Krasudreal says, "Right before that, is what I meant"
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Mraustrae prrbs, "I am sure the boss heard that one."
Vahno grabs another crate on the way past!
>> Vahno rolls 1d4, and gets 2
Vahno gets another boost. "Sure, why not~?"
Tss'Renia breathes fire on the next mofo >:O FFFFF
Tss'Renia does not roll for that, it has the PI guarantee on it!
Patashu cackles, watching from his crash site!
Vahno yelps! "No fire!" He'll hit the boost to get away from Reni!
>> Vahno rolls 1d20, and gets 12
You rumble, "Reni! You've got one more item chance!"
Tss'Renia grabs the bullet bill item!
>> Tss'Renia rolls 1d20, and gets 12
( reminder that this is three laps and this is the first one. This race won't end if Vahno crosses the line right now! )
[OOC] Tss'Renia says, "Good enough!"
Patashu oh boy!
( Tss'Renia got the plane morph item! That makes the Kart into an AMAZING plane for a short while! )
( it won't fly up, for some reason )
[OOC] Vahno says, "That's cause it's on auto pilot."
Tss'Renia sighs, "It had to be an airbus. Well, good enough! Is a plen!"
Patashu finally works the controls and wrenches his wreck of a kart out from where it crashed! Parts are falling off of it and it's angrily grinding and belching smoke, but he can at least continue...!
Mako is at this point kind of dead last, as she wobbles across the lap marker (just two more...) and to one side into the Pit Area. Pooka swarm the mech, banging out a few dents, polishing it up, and hanging a pine-scented air freshener around its neck. @x@
Mako . o O ( What people forgot to ask is, can mako drive? ;p )
Vahno carefully stands up in his cart... He's gonna try and grab Reni's plane as it flies past!.
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Niny'ah . o O ( Oh. Oh dear. )
Patashu needs some time to catch up. He'll thinking about how to stop Vahno from running away with this...
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Teo falls asleep.
( the pit stop track seems to pointedly close up when the Vice and the Mayor come near... Hey! No fair! )
Patashu augh!
>> Vahno rolls 1d20, and gets 19
[OOC] Vahno says, "I am gonna stop rolling now, lol"
[OOC] Patashu says, "lmao"
Gwen zooms in and screeches to a halt!  Street luging.
Gwen has arrived.
[OOC] Patashu says, "Vahno stole all our luck! ;w;"
Gwen boards the spectator's blimp.
Gwen has left.
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Gwen arrives from outside.
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Gwen has arrived.
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, [OOC] Gwen peeks in.
You rumble, "ALRIGHT. Two can play at this game."
[OOC] Krasudreal says, "This is hilarious, I gotta admit."
Patashu decides to... Stop trying to run the lap. He just turns his kart sideways after getting an item and waits for Vahno to arrive here on the next lap...
roll 1d4
Rolling 1d4:
-----------------------------------
* 1d4 =>  1
-----------------------------------
> Total = 1
Mako retakes the track and begins picking up speed again, but she seems to be taking the corners easy. @.@
Patashu has a blue rocket! But isn't going to launch it just yet...
( a line of drone-lifted crates approaches, but... Something is going on with Vahno! )
Tss'Renia sticks an autopilot chip onto the kart, jumps and BOARDS Vahno's cart, and starts burning everything. >:O FFFFFFFF
[OOC] Patashu says, "Hello Gwen! We are playing Mech Kart, as you can see :3"
Vahno
Vahno aughs! "H-hey! No! Stoppit! Get on your own kart!" He flails at Reni!
Patashu's kart putter rattles and blasts out smoke as he plays pong with himself while waiting...
Borris zooms in and screeches to a halt!  Street luging.
Borris has arrived.
Borris boards the spectator's blimp.
Borris has left.
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Borris arrives from outside.
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Borris has arrived.
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Borris looks around and finds a place to sit
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Gwen says, "Is this the part where we do color commentary?" "I have no idea what is going on." "Good job, Gwen."
Tss'Renia steals Vahno's steering wheel, and then returns to its cart.
Patashu comms with Reni, [Did you get him?]
Vahno says, "...GAH! No FAIR!"
[OOC] Mako says, "It wouldn't be fun if we didn't have a peanut gallery. :P"
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Borris is carried away when a runaway sputnik rams into him.
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Borris has left.
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Mraustrae offers more tea and biscuits to those seated...
Tss'Renia TXs to Patashu, [ Yep. Hey, can you not have a repair kit being shot to you from space? ]
Patashu [Is that allowed in the rules?]
Mako begins to pick up speed, and swings for another powerup.... *Beedlybeedly* She has.... a chicken? [Equipped: Angry Chicken!]
Vahno attempts to steer with... I dunno, the wires? The little stub left behind? It's not working either way. He ends up driving right into a hardware store! CRASHCLANGSMASHBWONG!
Vahno did 100 damage to Destructible City, reducing its integrity to 9610!
Patashu ooh! [I think that noise was Vahno!] :3c
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Gwen says, "Is this part of the official mayoral duties?" "Dang, I shoulda campaigned harder."
( a stray drone attempts to throw a crate towards Vahno's Kart... But it bounces off wildly! Landing... At patashu's kart! What's that... A self-repair kit? Well, looks like the cheater's hand slipped! )
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Kandra has connected.
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Nina blinkblinks!
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, [OOC] Kandra wurgh
Patashu keheheh! The kart comes out looking better than new, somehow! He'll REV up the engine and get back into the race finally, rather than just being a stationary defense!
Tss'Renia TXs to Pata [ I rather you take lead and I burn our tail! ]
Patashu says, [Got it! I have a plan then.]
Patashu, before the repair drones have fully finished taking effect, he does a wheelie with the kart *screeeech-vrrrr* and fires the blue rocket into the ground. BOOOOM! He rocket jumps, the kart catching on fire and metal tatters, but it gets fixed mid-jump and comes down for a suspension-testing landing!
Vahno . o O ( ...oh. hey, power tools. )
Tss'Renia is taking a CASUAL stroll while waiting for Patashu to catch up.
Patashu is hurtling towards the #1 position, but it's possible Mako has something to say about all this chicanery...
Mako Takes aim, and launches her poultry towards PAta as they whizz past!
>> Mako rolls 1d20, and gets 5
[OOC] Mako says, "Welp"
Patashu turns the Delphox's head and flame breaths the chicken. It turns into a roast chicken, platter and garnish and all, mid flight. :x
Patashu [Okay, I'm in 1st! Cover my rear, Reni! We actually might win??]
( *bkgawk* )
( Vrrrrrr.... Clang clang clang... )
( The chicken flies like no other chicken before. Not towards its target, but up, and up, and up... What...? )
Tss'Renia paints a censor bar over Patashu's rear, "There we go, I got your rear covered!"
Patashu =w=;
Patashu has a bad feeling about something suddenly...
Tss'Renia .wavs, "I feel like making fried chicken all of the sudden."
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, ( The chicken, miraculously, finds its way inside of the spectator area! )
Mako reaches out and attempts to grab a lamppost so she can slingshot herself around the enxt corner, and try to regain both speed and control! o.o
>> Mako rolls 1d20, and gets 10
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, ( *bkgawk!* )
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Gwen says, "Heh. Mako answered chicanery with chickenry."
You rumble, "It's a Thanksgiving Miracle!"
Mako does get the lamppost... and begins to spin. @.@ "Help!" @.@
Patashu does not help! He IS going to get an item, however...
roll 1d4
Rolling 1d4:
-----------------------------------
* 1d4 =>  3
-----------------------------------
> Total = 3
( CRASH! Vahno busts down the rear wall of the hardware store! He's managed to improvise a few wrenches into a steering wheel and he's off again. And worst of... He's got a chainsaw! VRRRRRRRRRR! )
You rumble, "Oh god Vahno is happening again"
Vahno says, "HERE'S VAHNNY!"
You rumble, "Reni! Show them we TOO have the power of friendship!"
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Niny'ah SNORTSNORTSNORTSNORT
Patashu co-ordinates with, then drops the bomb on the track to give Reni something to juke Vahno into.
Tss'Renia grabs a minigun, "I am heavy weapons dragon, and this, is my WEAPON". It looks behind and tries to see when Vahno is about to come towards the bomb.
Vahno revs up his chainsaw.... and slices the bomb in half! Both halves explode harmlessly behind him...
Patashu kehehee~
Patashu oh heck.
You rumble, "Reni we have a problem"
Tss'Renia .wavs, "Do not worry, I know a pokemon!"
Tss'Renia RATATATATATATA
Vahno steers back and forth, trying to avoid the hail of bullets. It's only moderately effective! But he's still coming! "Gonna getchaaaa!"
>> Tss'Renia rolls 1d20, and gets 9
Patashu is focusing on driving towards the finish line, but he can't help but peer over his shoulder! "He's getting closer...!"
( the racers have been going for a while... Look! The line for the second lap is in sight! And with crates right before that! Wait... Anyone remember what happened with Vahno's mine that he laid at the start of the race? )
Tss'Renia is equally moderately effective. "You and what army? Hey, focus in front of you, Pata!"
Patashu oh. No one triggered it yet-
roll 1d20
Rolling 1d20:
-----------------------------------
* 1d20 =>  11
-----------------------------------
> Total = 11
>> Tss'Renia rolls 1d20, and gets 1
Patashu GAWKS and hard steers out of the way just in time! [Look out, it's -]
Patashu too late.
Tss'Renia tabarnak
Vahno grabs for a crate! 
>> Vahno rolls 1d4, and gets 1
Patashu MMMM, that's bad. What does he get...
roll 1d4
Rolling 1d4:
-----------------------------------
* 1d4 =>  3
-----------------------------------
> Total = 3
Tss'Renia explodes, landing on the track out of its cart. It grabs an item, a bomb, and stands on the track, waiting to jump Vahno.
Patashu has an idea. A really dumb idea.
Vahno grins. He tugs out a pilfered roll of tape... A quick bit of work and he fires.... A ROCKET PROPELLED CHAINSAW! A blue one.
Patashu *gulp*
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Gwen says, "My Awesome Sense is tingling."
You rumble, "D-do your worst..."
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Nina o.o
Vahno says, "AHAHAHAHAHAHHHA!"
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Nina says, "Pack it in, guys, I think Vahno's doing something winning here"
Tss'Renia tosses the bomb at the rocket propelled chainsaw!
>> Tss'Renia rolls 1d20, and gets 14
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Mraustrae gives everyone another round of tea and bisdcuits, the chicken is now holding a tea cup with a wing
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Nina sips tea, munches :3
Mako finally lets go! She ricochets forward, through a powerup box, and off the walls some, slowly catching up... And her powerup resolves. You recieve: Anvil!
>> Mako rolls 1d20, and gets 1
Patashu . o O ( Ha! )
[OOC] Mako says, "... I could not have planned that better if I tried."
>> Vahno rolls 1d20, and gets 11
( BOOM! The RPC is blown up! And Vahno ends up taking the chainsaw's engine to the mechaface. "AUGH!" )
Patashu whoops! And puts metal to the pedal! >:3
Tss'Renia reboards its cart, going after Patashu slowly, trying to fix the cart as it goes. "There, saved your metal butt, Pata!"
Mako's mech is flattened by a giant anvil from above. She ain't getting bakc up. @.@
Patashu . o O ( Finally, some good bad luck! >:D )
Patashu, uninterrupted until one of the Anti-Mayor Task Force gets repaired, is going to focus on clean racing lines!
Tss'Renia . o O ( All my rolls were terrible except the RPC intercept! )
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Featherwing has disconnected.
Vahno GRRRRRS! He'll slam down on the gas pedal as hard as he can! He's not done yet! 
( can even get another item! This time before Vahno for sure! )
Patashu ah, here comes Vahno. "Oh yes you are!" Bomb deployed on the track. Have a nice day!
roll 1d4
Rolling 1d4:
-----------------------------------
* 1d4 =>  3
-----------------------------------
> Total = 3
Patashu TWO mines.
>> Tss'Renia rolls 2d20, and gets 28
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Kandra watches quietly.  o.o;
Tss'Renia dodges Pata's mines. o_O
( You've already got a mine yes? But what about second mine? )
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Gwen nods approvingly. "I mine what I mine, and what's mine is mine."
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Amy says, "eenie meenie miney moe."
Krasudreal has crawled out of their wrecked mech to cheer up Vahno, "You can do it Vahno! It is two versus one, but I am sure that the power of friendship will see you through! Friendship and cheating!"
>> Vahno rolls 1d20, and gets 18
Vahno swerves deftly around the mines! He'll even grab a powerup too!
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Featherwing has connected.
>> Vahno rolls 1d4, and gets 2
Tss'Renia .wavs, "Hey Pata, do your mechs come with a self destruct?"
You rumble, "Standard issue!"
Tss'Renia .wavs, "Hey VAHNO."
Krasudreal prrbs, "Oh no, Vahno! Look out! They're going to use the power of friendship! They'll friend harder than us!"
You rumble, "That's right! And you know what says 'we're friends' better than anything else?!?"
Tss'Renia starts whirring loudly, standing on top of its kart while it autodrives around and waiting for Vahno to come within jumping distance.
Vahno says, "...eh?"
You rumble, "**Explosions.**"
>> Tss'Renia rolls 1d20, and gets 13
Mako . o O ( Mr Torgue: I have one question and one question only. )
( Turns out... The power of friendship is explosions... Explosions so close to the kart that a chain reaction happens with the self-destruct load within the kart itself! )
Patashu :D
Patashu has the kobolds record this part in slow motion and dub it with Ode To Joy in post...
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Gwen says, "WHOO!"
[OOC] Tss'Renia says, "I was not ready to explode yet and had one epic scene left, but okay!"
[OOC] Krasudreal says, "Sorry, my storytelling slipped. It's getting a little late!"
[OOC] Tss'Renia says, "Is good!"
Tss'Renia's kart and suit is demolished, on the side of the road in a rubble. The dragon itself is fine, thanks to extremely durable engineering, also known as bubble shields. "Go Pata! You can win this! ... I would be surprised if Vahno resisted this."
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Nina o.o
Patashu is gonna race his metaphorical heart out, yes!
Vahno's cart explodes! His mech goes flying and land with a crash! ...After a moment, it catches fire, and Vahno himself is ejected from the Mech! ...he lands on the road with a Splut. ...Then the parachute deploys.
Patashu goes 'whoo'! "Justice and civic duty always prevails!"
Tss'Renia goes over to Vahno and renders assitance with a fire extinguisher.
Mako finally waddleso ut from under her anvil. Well, a kabuto helmet and two shoes waddle out. She may be DNF. @.o
( Before even Patashu crosses the line... Confetti falls from the sky! "Congratulations! The opposing team was fully destroyed!" Oh yeah, that was the rules! )
( A kobold pops a bottle of champaigne and sprays it around wildly! )
break 1
Patashu did 1 damage to Destructible City, reducing its integrity to 9609!
Patashu . o O ( Pretty nice number! )
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Jill-Annie applauds politely.
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Mraustrae prrbs, "members of the public, it is now safe to leave."
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Ravio yay!
Mako mumbles. "NExt time we get the viewing public to maybe drop the items on the field.
Krasudreal is waiting at the finish line, mech and kart still crashed somewhere else.
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Amy says, "wait, we can do that!?"
Tss'Renia offers a ride to the other karters to return to the starting line.
Patashu akira slides into the finish line and gets out of the kart then gets out of the Delphox!
Krasudreal offers a forepaw to shake, "Congratulations. But watch out for next year!"
Patashu grins. "If I get re-elected!" He shakes.
Krasudreal prrbs, "Whoever gets elected, they better watch out!"
Tss'Renia .wavs, "You know what would be funny, Pata."
You rumble, "Yeah?"
Mako says, "If you don't, we might press gang you into helping. :x"
Krasudreal looks around... "Ah, Tss'Renia, there you are."
Tss'Renia .wavs, "If the robots kept swapping spaces between Vice and Mayor."
Patashu snickers
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Nina grins.
Krasudreal prrbs, "Figuring out Pata's likes was easy. But, figuring out yours was a little harder."
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Gwen says, "Nice, wish I'd caught more of it, but I had a previous engagement." "You were napping." "Hush, you!"
Krasudreal prrbs, "I am still not sure if this struck with you."
Patashu looks over to Reni!
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Kandra rubs her face and throat.
Vahno says, "...medic."
Tss'Renia .wavs, "I liked it, it was fun! Thank you. And now, time to heal poor Vahno. I went hard on you."
Tss'Renia produces a few stimpaks, injects Vahno with one. +40% HP
Patashu \o/
[OOC] Krasudreal says, "Oh... I think I forgot to record this... Anyone saved the logs?"
[OOC] Patashu says, "I will put it on the wiki"
[OOC] Mako says, "I log everything. And pata might too"
[OOC] Krasudreal says, "Oh good, thanks!"
Krasudreal prrbs, "Well..."
Krasudreal prrbs, "Mayoral Kidnappers, blasting off again!"
Krasudreal pulls out a seed and throw it on the ground before saying "There is no place like home", from the seed sprouts a massive poppy that grows over them, before retreating back into the ground.
Krasudreal has left.
Patashu salutes!
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Mraustrae blasts off too!
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Mraustrae is glommed down and swept away by a plastic hippopotamus mouth.
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Mraustrae has left.
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Kandra fidgets lightly.
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Nina transforms in a burst of sky-blue holographic glitching into a shiny robot! [desc updated]
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Nina wraps her arms around Kandra. mrp
Amy disembarks from the spectator's blimp.
Amy has arrived.
Jill-Annie disembarks from the spectator's blimp.
Jill-Annie has arrived.
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, [OOC] Gwen says, "Honestly, might be a good thing Gwen didn't win, or the Mayoral Kidnapping might have become a "gotta catch 'em all!" situation. :P"
Gwen disembarks from the spectator's blimp.
Gwen has arrived.
Vahno says, "...I have regrets."
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Kandra leans against Nina, ... slightly ...
Gwen says, "Don't we all, really?" "Not me." "Shh."
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Nina strokes Kandra's hair, purring softly.
Ravio disembarks from the spectator's blimp.
Ravio has arrived.
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Kandra tril.  "... I like, half want to be a fox again ..."
Aboard the Spectator's Blimp, Nina nodnods.
You rumble, "How was that, Ravio~"
Ravio growls, "Exciting! Hehe"